Trust

Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks ~ Isaac Watts

There are many wonderful feelings in this world, but I feel that sometimes, all others pales to the beauty of trust. The psychological connection between two individuals that allow them to come as one and believe in each other. Isn’t trust wonderful? The feeling that you can trust someone, or better yet, when you know someone else trusts you?

It’s such a good wonderful feeling, so it is truly unfortunate that it is one of the rare emotions i can experience, and here’s why:

Picture the scene with me: You have your rather quiet, geeky and slightly anti-social kid in a classroom full of boisterous, charming and amicable students. That kid has practically no common interests with these other people, and thus suffers from a sort of “social barrier”, preventing any interactions from occurring. Interactions that he craves so much. This kid has classmates that he never talked to for the entire of his time in school, due to the social barrier. Now, I know what you may be thinking: Well, why doesn’t he just approach them and talk to them? At least try to take an interest in their lives? Well, it’s not so simple. For starters, he doesn’t know about their interests, and may only come across as pretending. After all, how do you genuinely take an interest in something, when it just doesn’t interest you?

Well, that kid was me. And is me, to some extent. I had classmates that I didn’t talk to for the entire first year (out of the two years) of school. I didn’t really trust others, as I thought they didn’t trust me. This all changed suddenly, when the quietest girl in the class approached me one day for help with something. That’s when I felt it, the wonderful feeling of trust.

Why of all people did she ask me? Why did she ask me in the first place? Could it be, because she trusted me? She trusted that I could help me, that I was capable of helping her in the first place. Honestly, I felt really glad that she did, because she essentially reassured me that I was trusting, and that she was willing to trust me to help her with her presentation. I never told her how grateful I was to her, but I’m certain she knows.

The second case happened a few days back, actually. There’s this other girl, that I never really talked to at all, and no, it wasn’t because I had a secret crush on her or something. It was simply because I was intimidated by her popularity. She was one of those girls that almost everybody liked, and could get along with those popular guys in my class exceptionally swimmingly. As a geek, I was unnecessarily afraid of talking to her and getting rejected. So, I never did. Until a few days ago, when I ran into her on the bus with her friends. She greeted me very cheerfully, and proceeded to sit behind me, with her friends. But here’s the part which pleasantly surprised me: she included me in conversations, like asking me how I felt the recent test was. It was a small gesture, but it made me realise that she actually trusted me as a classmate. To you it may not be much, but to me, it was wonderful.

Above all, I realised one thing and perhaps the most important thing. Both stories had something in common, which I didn’t mention. In both stories, I actually approached both of them first. Unknowingly, I trusted both of them first, be it to make small talk or otherwise. That made me realise the most important part about trust: we have to trust others first, before they would dare to trust us. Think about it, how we think of others will affect how we act around them, and this will ultimately affect how they think of us. We have to trust others, and only then will others be willing to trust us. Sure, we may be putting ourselves in a vulnerable position, opening ourselves up to hurt. But, I’d say this: Do you feel the rewards are worth the risk? Cause I know I definitely do. So go out, learn to trust others and on top of it all, trust yourself. Trust yourself that you’ll be able to make the right decision, and everything will fall into place.

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